Aw, Snap!
by Durotos
Summary: Pokemon Snap! Professor Oak has a pressing project to finish, but he can't seem to avoid interruptions and incompetence. One-Shot! (Pun intended!)


**Dedicated to my best friend, in honor of all of our years playing Pokémon Snap together in the late hours of the night! Enjoy! :)**

His pen scratched at the notepad furiously as he studied the vials of mauve and periwinkle skin samples that sat on his desk.

He muttered to himself as he wrote. He was always muttering anymore; it was the only way he could keep track of his thoughts with his increasing workload and constant interruptions.

"So it seems that the texture of the skin reduces static shock... This female sample is thicker and more durable. This must help protect her a bit more when she is defending the nest from predators… That seems quite logical…" He ran a hand through his silver hair and took a break from writing, biting on the end of his pen.

He had a deadline for this report; there was no way this was going to get done on time, especially since it was so hard to get good help these days…

There was a hesitant knock at the door.

 _Speak of the devil…_

The professor frowned and finished writing his sentence. The knock had increased in volume and urgency.

"Please come in!" The researcher forced a happier demeanor upon himself, but didn't look up from his desk. He immediately pulled open the top drawer, containing a box with three capsules.

He was always a filled with a strange combination of gratitude and bitterness as these adolescents called upon him. They all wanted to be trainers, all claiming that they were going to be "the very best" or "like no one ever was". The professor had always bitten back a smirk and a laugh at these declarations; he had tried to do the very same thing when he was younger. Sure, he had seen his fair share of battles, but he simply didn't have the knack or stomach for it. So he decided to study the creatures instead. This earned him a place of respect among the community, and the younger generation flocked to him for his knowledge… or so they claimed. Yet, it was definitely for the usual handouts. The kids rarely tried to hide it anymore; they were borderline shameless.

"Hello." The youth's voice sounded a little unsure as they approached him.

The professor shoved his vials and writing to the side, propping open the box. "Are you a boy or a girl?" He gave his standard greeting with a good-natured chuckle before looking up at the child.

The adolescent stared at the professor with a confused expression. They opened their mouth to speak, but no words came. The professor could tell he had insulted the youth, but decided not to call attention to it.

The naturalist shrugged; he supposed it didn't really matter which gender the child was anyway; it was a question he often used to break the ice. He'd always be met with an indignant, "I'm a girl!" or a cracked voice claiming, "I'm a boy!"

It had become a running gag between him and his colleagues; they enjoyed watching the youngsters squirm a bit before simply giving away the precious research subjects. After all, most of these children hardly reported back to the professors with their findings; they'd get too caught up in the brutal sport of training the local wildlife into beating each other senseless.

It was one thing to knock out a specimen to bring them back for research, but when they were rarely sent back to the lab, it could get a little discouraging. The professor had run out of his own private stash of creatures ages ago, and the lab had received funding to supplement their growing demand for scouting. However, this was federally funded money, and despite the way most researchers felt about the children's predisposition to unnecessary combat, they were obligated to hand over these valuable specimens with the feeble hope that they may inspire future naturalists, and not enable blood-thirsty fighters.

"My name is Snap."

The name, along with the wavy chestnut hair and pink and purple striped shirt all left the professor a little baffled, and he wished that the adolescent would have just answered his question the way everyone else did. The voice wasn't much of an indicator of gender, either.

"Well, _Snap_ …" _Who names their child Snap?_

"Technically, my name is Todd Snap, but my friends just call me Snap."

"My name is Professor Oak. I am known around here as the 'Pokémon Professor'. I take it you are here to assist with my research?" He looked at the adolescent hopefully as he nudged the box toward the youth.

"Yes!" Came an emphatic reply.

Professor Oak began his standard recitation. "Well, I have a few Pokémon that you are welcome to choose from. Think of it as a starter, if you will. I want you to please treat them with kindness, as they will be-"

"I don't need a Pokémon. I'm the photographer you asked for." Snap proudly pointed to the camera that hung around his neck.

"Photographer…?" The professor rattled his brain. There were so many projects going on at once, he couldn't remember what he had requested of each person anymore.

"Yes, a photographer for your Pokémon report," the adolescent replied.

"Ah, yes!" The naturalist clumsily slammed the box of capsules shut and returned them to his desk drawer, sending his vials of Nidoqueen and Nidoking skin samples rolling across the desk and clattering into the floor. He crawled under his workstation to retrieve the bottles. "Yes, yes. I'm so glad you came! As explained in your letter, we have a vehicle prepared for you on a preplanned route. You've already signed off on your waiver?"

"Yes!" He eagerly replied.

"Wonderful!" Professor Oak grabbed the vials and stood up, knocking his head on the edge of his desk as he did so. He blinked the tears out of his eyes, silently cursing himself for always being so clumsy. "Are you ready to take some photos now?"

"Yes!"

 _Could this kid say anything else?_

Professor Oak didn't care; he had a deadline to meet. "Alright, let's get you out there taking some photos, then!" He practically shoved the boy out of the door. "Take some good ones, okay?"

"Yes!" Professor Oak didn't expect any variety in Snap's choice of words at this point as the child boarded the vehicle. He looked up at the professor as if looking for instructions on how to use it, but that deadline loomed over Professor Oak like a heavy cloud.

"It's all automated; you have nothing to worry about. Alright, see you soon!" He was a professor, not a babysitter; he hurried back to the lab and slammed the door behind him.

Professor Oak returned to his writings as he heard the vehicle take off.

He had just hired a photographer named Snap. It wasn't a nickname; it was his surname.

The man bit his lips and continued to write. A chuckle escaped his mouth a moment later. The old man scribbled on the paper and an uncontrollable laugh erupted from within him as tears poured down his face.

It was so hard to get good help these days.

0o0o0o0

"Welcome back!" The professor could have sworn the photographer had only been gone for a few minutes.

"I've got a lot of great shots!" The boy exclaimed as he hurried out of the darkroom with a thick stack of photographs.

"Alright, let's take a look, shall we?" Professor Oak was eager to make more progress toward his Pokémon report.

The boy eagerly handed him the photographs, and the researcher began rifling through them. "Snap… Most of these photos are of a single Pikachu."

"I know! I wanted to get the perfect shot! He climbed on top of a surf board on the beach, and I thought it looked pretty cool," Snap did a poor job of hiding his pride. "It will make a great addition to your report!"

The professor bit his lip. "Uh, Snap… I really need more photos than just one Pikachu. Please go for variety next time," he tried his best to sound polite.

"Oh, there's more than just the Pikachu in there. I got a Meowth, too, and a Snorlax!"

Professor Oak shuffled through stacks of Pikachus before he found the Meowth. "Ah, I see you took a lot of the Meowth as well…"

"Yes!"

The researcher took a photo that looked reasonably centered in the frame. "This one is the best." He didn't bother looking at half of them.

The photographer frowned. "But I'm sure this one is my best shot… See? You can really see the details on its face…"

"It's not centered properly," Professor Oak replied curtly.

"W-well, I can just crop them. I mean, I can even enhance the colors, too, if that's what you want."

The old man sighed. What he really wanted was to be done with this infernal project. "We don't have time to crop. Just go back out there and take more photos. Lots of variety. I need them report-ready."

The boy tried his best to hide his discouragement. "Alright. I'll try harder!"

"Great! Now get out there and take some good photos!" He shoved Snap out of the door and returned to his desk, his hand flying across the paper as he wrote another paragraph for his report.

And sure enough, he was interrupted again with a knock on the door.

The professor sighed; keeping up a cheerful demeanor around everyone was very draining, especially with this report hovering over him. He didn't have time for distractions and pleasantries. The professor ignored the knock and continued to write. He heard the door being forced open and he bit his tongue, too angry to look up at his guest.

 _Now was really not a good time…_

"Professor Oak! Professor Oak!" A familiar, perky voice echoed through the lab.

The researcher's ears perked up, and his stress vanished. He hadn't heard that voice in a while. The boy was his shining example of what a Pokémon trainer should be; he was constantly sending information back to the lab. The adolescent had managed to find that happy medium of genuine interest in learning about the wildlife and entering his specimens in competition. The boy had stopped by on several occasions when the professor was less busy and he had shared stories of his escapades with his friends and always brought back valuable information. He liked to think of the boy as his prodigy. In truth, he loved the boy more than his own grandson; Professor Oak hoped he wasn't too obvious about it…

"Ash, it's been a while!" The old man's face lit up. "You sound like you have news."

"You bet I've got news! I taught my Pikachu how to do a new move! One that I've never seen another Pikachu do before!"

"Did it learn how to do Light Screen?"

Ash laughed. "No, Pikachu learned that ages ago!"

"Then what could it be? Thunder Wave? Skull Bash?" Surely it was just a move that Ash himself hadn't seen before…

The boy shook his head. "I taught him how to surf!"

The professor's eyes widened. "Surf? But Pikachu's an electric type; how can this be?"

The naturalist's heart began to pound. If what Ash was saying was really true, then everything that the world knew about Pokémon was about to change. How much did humans really know about these mysterious creatures, anyway? Perhaps this Pikachu was the key to unlocking all of these secrets…

"Don't believe me? I've got proof!" Ash reached into his backpack and produced a photograph.

"Ah, it's quite impressive that you've actually got a photo of him-" The man's expression froze. It was a photo of a surfboard sitting on the beach with a Pikachu perched on top of it.

"Pretty cool, huh?" Ash grinned.

Professor Oak's expression didn't change as he tore the photo down the middle and tossed a half over each of his shoulders.

"Get out of my lab."


End file.
